It’s Not Here Anymore (Updated January 2024)

A question for you: why do you want to see it?

Are you wondering who it was about? I didn’t name him because I didn’t want to forever associate myself with him, so the post won’t answer that for you. I only ever dated one man in WordPress, so the people who knew me knew who it was about, but not from me ever talking about it. There are probably “whisper networks” about it, but I don’t know anything about those.

Is your motivation to avoid supporting an abuser? That’s noble, but for what it’s worth: I’m fine with it if you end up supporting him. It’s been 3 years since I posted this post. Today, I don’t feel anger, sadness, or fear. I only feel pity. I walked away from WordPress, something I loved, to avoid my abuser. I am still grieving that loss, but I’m otherwise fine: I found a great job, a partner who treats me well, and new communities and hobbies. I have a lot of options in life. He, in comparison, I suspect, does not. That’s why he had to find power in abusing me. I suspect that if he ever faced consequences for his behavior, he would go hurt a lot more people. I’m much more afraid of that than I was ever afraid of him. So if he gets $50 from you and you learn some new stuff about WordPress, and that keeps a very unwell person from causing more harm, I mean, whatever.

Do you want to know if I’m OK? Yes, I’m fine. You don’t need to read the post to know that, just look at the rest of the website. I’m creating, publishing, thriving. It’s all good.

Are you just a nosy person? Honestly, no shade—I am also nosy about internet drama. But maybe consider this: I never wanted this story to be the thing people knew about me. I thought I was just communicating with the people who knew me. Boy, did I miscalculate. For a while, if you typed “Christie Chirinos” into Google, the autocomplete filled in “boyfriend.” That infuriated me. I wished it filled in “entrepreneurship” or “product management” or “newest single” or “shows near me,” but nope, it was “boyfriend.” I deleted the post, and 3 years later, my analytics said the “page not found” link of where the post was still getting 5-6 hits per day. Per day!

That’s why I decided to write this message. If people are still looking for this, then fine, let me give you something to find: here’s where you can buy my latest album. There is so much more to me than what this post was about, and if you’re going to be nosy, be nosy for the good, not for the ugly.


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